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Everyone has a free will?

From an early age I knew I was different and from the way I was treated at school and by adults this only went on to confirm it.
From my earliest memories I remember always wanting to play with the girls.

This was after the second world war and we would play on the bomb sites, we would make a square "Today kids can use a Wendy house" house bricks and with one young girl in particular we would play mummies and daddies, now in our game she would always be daddy and I would be mummy.
The young girl I played with only lived two doors away and we went to nursery together our mothers were friends and our dads went drinking together, so weather at home or at nursery we could be found playing the same game.

At the end of each day some of Wendy's teddies would be found in my room.

I was the youngest in a largish family by about 8 years and at the time I did not question the reason why.

At this time we lived in a rundown area of Askew Road in Gateshead and this part of my childhood was happy, even though from this age I was under the impression that I was female.
From the nursery I joined the locale infants school at which time my brother left and went to Kelvangrove, by the time I got to the same school as my brother he was ready to leave.

In the time between the time I was at nursery and infants school I was quite happy to live my the way I was, but towards the end of the happy days lots of things started to change. The person who I thought was my farther would slip into my bed at night and it started by me held close to him so I felt wanted this went on for some time with one hand around me pulling me close to him and with his other hand he would play with my genitals, this action went on to him putting his dick between my legs and with his heavy breathing I would then feel something wet running down my leg.

By the time I was 12 I was used to my step farther slipping into my bed at night hearing his heavy breathing, then the wet stuff that ran down my leg. On the first occasion that my face was pushed down into the pillow with his heavy weigh on top of me and his dick between my legs, I could lay there quite with a pillow over my head cutting out the heavy breathing and making up stories in my head as to what was happening to me.

Then came the day that my step farther and I went to meet an uncle, even though it was daylight I was put into this uncles bed face down, after a frightening wait they both came into the room, with my face pushed into the pillow with another pillow over my head I felt a searing pain in my rectum and after they had both finished I was dressed and taken home. Once or twice a week I was taken to visit this uncle and things would be done to me but no marks were left.

I was threatened that if I ever told anyone I would end up in a foster home along the rest of the kids in my family, then my step farther and mother would be put in prison and "It would be all my fault".

Because of this guy I would always choose the wrong types of friends, like the older boys I mixed with at school who used me as a sex toy when they could get it any where else. I was striped from the waist down and made to suck the cock of one while they all took it in turn to have a go at my rectum and their threat was that if I ever told anyone they would never talk to me again.
I was always playing hooky from school, but I would still meet up with one of these older boy's after school even though I knew what was going to happen to me.
Around this age I found out that by meeting men in public toilets they would pay me to perform sexual acts, it was not the money I wanted, all I wanted was someone to hold me close just so I could be near someone without being used as a sexual object.

By the time I was 14 I found that I could dresses as a girl and get straight guys to let me do things to them and they would pay me for doing it. It was also at this time I found someone a little younger than myself that would let me hold him and vice versa and for what seemed a life time we had a relationship were no penetration and little sex was included on either side and in 1961 my young partner died I was 16.

I did not write this to have people pity me, I wrote so all The God Freaks who think that everyone has a free will out there can see that not everyone has a Free Will to chose how their life turns out and when will these people realise it.